I have issues when it comes to sleep. How I got to be so incredibly picky about it I’ll never know. If things are not just right it’s a lost cause. I’m not just being dramatic about it either. If it’s not cool enough, dark enough, quiet enough, etc. then I just can’t fall asleep. If I do, it won’t be for very long. It’s very frustrating and it makes sleeping away from home a not very enjoyable experience. I have learned to cope, however, with a lot of help and patience from those who have hosted me over the years. I can work around most of those things. There is one thing that I cannot get by without: My pillows.

I know lots of people who sleep with more than one pillow. I do not know many people that sleep with four (sometimes five). If I don’t have four, it is going to be a rough night. There’s no getting around it. My body is so out of whack that I just can’t fall asleep without the support/padding of all four. Now, granted, they’re not all under my head. That would be ridiculous. (’Cause sleeping with four pillows is not.) It’s a complicated situation so to better help you understand I have taken the liberty (with permission from my +1) of drawing a diagram for you. (Click on the image for a larger version.)

As you can already see, my wife puts up with a lot of stuff. However, as you can also quite clearly see, she has a well defined space that is all her own which I call “She Land”. Crossing the DMZ into She Land is forbidden without a travel visa approved by she who sleeps there. The DMZ itself is obviously a mixed bag. While the left support pillow is technically located in the DMZ, it has a sort of amnesty and is able to operate there without interference from She Land. The rest of the DMZ is strictly off limits except to occasional passing wiener dogs who are exempt from all international travel regulations. With the DMZ creating a constant stand-off situation, incidents are bound to occur. For example, should cold feet operate a covert mission into She Land, global thermonuclear war can be expected to follow.

I’m getting off track, though. This is about my pillows, which you can now see are a situation unto themselves. One super duper firm pillow for my head, two firm pillows on either side and a soft pillow between my knees. I sleep on my side (tossing a bit) with my arm thrown over either support pillow. Without the knee pillow, my back won’t align and it’s painful to try to sleep. Without the support pillows, my arm has nowhere to go, which is also painful on my back/neck. (Because I toss and turn at night, I sometimes lose a support pillow to She Land or the edge of the world. That’s why the backup pillow is there on the floor.) I can’t sleep on my back or my stomach. It just doesn’t work for me.

So, there you have it. I have a problem with pillows. Has anyone out there successfully overcome a pillow addiction? How’d you get off the fluff? I’d love to cut back to a normal amount of pillow usage. I just can’t seem to kick the habit.

I’ve got beef with you folks. What is the deal with instant messages? Why aren’t you using them? I know I’ve tried to sucker people into using Twitter (which I still think is fantastic, by the way) but IM’s are old school, folks. I mean, come on. Where are you people?

Now I know a good number of you talk to me regularly via IM’s, and I really appreciate it. But seriously. Where are the rest of you? Why don’t you use one of the IM services? Don’t you use a computer? Do you not like talking to your friends regularly? Come on people. It’s the least awkward method of keeping in touch and it requires next to no effort. You can send IM’s while you watch TV and I’ll never even know that you’re only half paying attention.

My point is that a fair number of us have embraced 90’s technology and killed a barrier of entry to conversation. I mean, if you like making it hard for people to talk to you, I guess I can understand that. Oh wait. No I can’t. There are privacy controls if you’re that paranoid. And I know phone calls, emails, etc. all have their place but come on people. Get with it. Stop slowing down the social world and get on the instant communication train. There’s plenty of room. I don’t care if you use AIM, Google Talk, Yahoo!, MSN, ICQ, MySpace IM or even Facebook. Just use something for crying out loud, even if it’s for only a few minutes a day.

Okay. Rant over. Give me feedback. Tell me why I’m wrong so I can prove that I’m not and we can get on with conversation.

Just recently I received my latest issue of Our State magazine. It’s a monthly mag about North Carolina that I receive courtesy of my mom. Food, places, people, music…you name it. They cover the Tarheel state. Admittedly, I’m probably not the target demographic for Our State. You can always tell by the ads in a mag (or on a tv show, for that matter) who they’re aiming at. Judging by the ads in Our State I am neither old enough or wealthy enough to fit. However, I’m a sucker for my home state, so I read it anyway. I’m getting off track, though.

In this latest issue I came across an article talking about The North Carolina Barbecue Society. Oh yes. You can imagine my face when I read those words the first time. NC BBQ Society president Jim Early stated the society’s mission statement in the article as follows:

The mission of the North Carolina Barbecue Society (NCBS) is to preserve North Carolina’s barbecue history and culture and to secure North Carolina’s rightful place as the Barbecue Capital of the World. Our goal is to promote North Carolina as “the Cradle of ’Cue” and embrace all that is good about barbecue worldwide.

In other words, these are my people! NC BBQ is near and dear to me, and preserving the heritage of it is certainly a cause I can get behind. I plan on joining the society at some point this summer. However, I’ve got to earn my stripes. I’m not comfortable just joining the society and letting it be. If I’m going to be a member, I need to know my stuff. And that’s where The NC BBQ Society Historical Trail comes into play.

As you can see on the map the trail is comprised of 25 historic BBQ pits around NC. Each has played a role in shaping BBQ culture in the state. It is my intention to visit every one of the 25 at some point. While I’d love to just travel the entire trail, I’m not sure I’d have the time to hit 25 restaurants consecutively. I’m also not sure what eating that much BBQ would do to me. So, I’ll probably be making random Saturday trips until I’ve visited each stop on the trail. If anyone is interested in coming along (I’ve already talked to Josh, of course), just let me know. We can carpool, caravan or whatever is necessary, but we are definitely going to eat the finest barbecue North Carolina has to offer. And if you’re a Tarheel like me, maybe you should consider joining the society as well. BBQ is a big part of our state’s heritage and a big part of America that started in our state.

I’ve been telling myself I’d write my first political blog entry in forever as soon as we had the two major party candidates determined. I came up with that idea when it was evident the Democratic nominee would be a long time coming, because it would allow me to put it off a while. Boy did it allow me to put it off a while. Now I’m out of excuses and I feel ready to share my opinion with the world, because I know the world is dying to hear it. Some of you may be surprised, and I know some of you will disagree. Feel free to share that, but don’t expect me to change my mind. I’d like to address the two major party candidates separately and then talk about the election in general. Aaaaaand go.

Let’s start on the right side of the aisle. So, the Republicans picked John McCain as their candidate. I didn’t know anyone last year who thought that would happen (and I know a lot of Republicans), but it did. I honestly do not think the GOP could have picked a more awful candidate. This election (as the other candidate’s campaign has correctly surmised) is about change. It’s about change because the GOP picked a horrible candidate in the year 2000 and managed to get him elected twice. Karl Rove suckered a lot of people to make that happen, but it did. (I will admit that it’s partially my fault. Sorry about that.) They sold that candidate as a traditional conservative when he was, in fact, a neo-conservative. There really is a difference, so don’t flinch at my use of the term. And how do they follow it up? With a wishy-washy neo-conservative. Genius.

John McCain is not a conservative. He believes in expanded government power in the same manner that George W. Bush does. He authored and pushed a bill that limited first amendment rights unlike anything in the history of the nation. (McCain-Feingold) Suspension of personal liberty for the illusion of safety, ignoring 4th amendment rights and reckless spending are all things he’s okay with, just like the current administration. He supports a war that’s accomplishing nothing (other than the bankrupting of America) and he has lobbyist hooks buried deep in his back. He bends to corporate lobby powers as bad or worse than any other Senator in Washington. He is everything that is bad about George W. Bush along with everything that is bad about typical liberals wrapped into one. He is a corrupt bureaucrat who has absolutely no business being in Washington, much the less the White House. Shame on the state of Arizona for electing him repeatedly. Perhaps they bought into this “moderate” B.S. that so many have been sold on. The fact is that McCain is not a moderate. He doesn’t sit in the middle of the aisle. John McCain does what is most advantageous to John McCain’s career at any given point in time. The only reason he works with the other party from time to time is because it makes headlines and keeps him in the spotlight. I think he is, generally speaking, a horrible candidate. Those of you who are reading this and saying “But Obama…” are suckers. I’ll prove it in just a few minutes. For now, just realize that this is not about “But Obama…”. This is about John McCain. Electing John McCain should not be an option for anyone who claims conservative values, principles and even a hint of morality.

And then there’s Barack Obama. The second coming of RFK. The Magic Negro. The man who campaigns on The Audacity of Hope. The one who can bring the change American needs, according to his campaign. Boy does he put on a good show. The man can deliver a speech like no other and, hey! He beat the Clintons. No one has done that in a couple of decades. If you’re on the left, I’d imagine you’ve probably wet your pants with excitement over this guy. I, on the other hand, have issues with him. So far as I can tell, the man hasn’t a clue about the state of the US economy. I have yet to hear him talk with any substance about the value of the dollar. I have yet to hear him discuss the Federal Reserve’s role in our banking system. All of his grand plans such as universal health care require a lot of money, but I’ve heard no plan for where this money will come from. (And don’t tell me it will come from ending the war. We went to war on credit. We didn’t have that money in the first place.) Our government is in a tremendous amount of debt and we’re only digging a deeper hole. How will universal health care help that? How will it be good for the health care of all Americans when our country is bankrupt? It won’t be. Obama’s “change” so far seems like the same plan of government growth that the Democratic party has been pushing for years. They may intend to grow it in a different way than the current administration, but any type of government growth is not the direction this country should be headed in. We cannot afford any more government expansion. We’ve overspent as it is. The only way this will happen is with increased tax revenues, which will only put more of a burden on Americans who are already strapped economically. Until he can prove otherwise, Obama’s “change” is nothing more than a classic tax and spend Democrat strategy. While I actually think the man has some positions I agree with (Net Neutrality, ending the war, repealing the Patriot Act, etc.), his refusal to address real economic issues makes his Hope look like nothing more than recycled Democratic junk. Hillary Clinton could have given us that.

What’s that? What about the way he’ll change the tone of politics? What about his efforts to “bring Washington together”? I’ll simply say this: You’re setting yourself up for fail if you believe any of that. Government does not fix problems, and government under a President Obama would be no different. To believe any politician when they try to sell you on a feeling is folly, in my view. The Obama campaign has certainly set up their constituency for a massive letdown a few years down the road. I hope the Democratic party has a strategy for dealing with that in future elections. (Or do I?)

Now, what do I believe will happen? Obama in a landslide. I’ve shared this with others to mixed reaction. To me, I feel like the GOP has so failed to recognize the problems of the last two presidential terms that they don’t stand a chance. Nominating McCain just seals that deal. But hey, Obama and McCain only differ on three major issues (Roe v. Wade, the war and Universal Healthcare), so maybe it will be closer than I think. (That’s right, just three issues separate the two. Told you, sucker.) Maybe issues voters will rule the day. I don’t think so, though. I think people are going to vote on personality and the single issue of the war this time around. If that’s the case, Obama has it wrapped up already.

Where does that leave me? Voting third-party or writing in a candidate. I refuse to vote for either of the major parties in this election. Both will continue to destroy the American economy in one way or another. All of the other issues don’t matter, in light of that. I’m sure that makes me come off as a nut, but mark my words the average American citizen will still be screwed in four years. It’s just a matter of how you want to, well, be screwed.

I was right. I really needed that trip home. What a great weekend. We managed to get in early Friday night and let Connor spend some time with his grandparents before he had to go to bed. Granny and Papa got pizza for him, but for once he wasn’t all that interested. (Pizza is his favorite. If he sees a picture of pizza and you ask what it is, he replies with simply “Mmmmmmmm.”) He was just happy to be there and happy to see the piano. I think he looks good in front of the keys. How soon can we start lessons? I wonder if we can find an instructor who will teach him some Ben Folds tunes someday?

Saturday morning was spent lounging around the house with Connor before leaving to meet the Australies at Red Robin in Durham. Mmmmm. Red Robin. Had I not forgotten my wallet halfway between Pittsboro and Durham, we might have been on time. Thankfully we have forgiving friends and we still had a fun lunch. I’m not sure how much of Connor’s food ended up in his mouth, but he liked seeing all of the balloons inside. He also has taken to saying “Hi!” to every stranger he meets.

After lunch, we headed out with the Australies to Duke Gardens for some attempts at family photos. Little did we realize how freakin’ hot it was going to be. We were barely out of the car before it felt like the heat was knocking us down. We stuck around and got a few photos for both families out of the deal, though. They may not be the best pictures I’ve ever taken, but it was hot and everyone was doing their best to put a smile on in spite of us all wishing we were sitting in the AC, instead. You can see some of the Australies’ pictures here.

After we’d all had enough of the sunshine, our family headed back toward Pittsboro. Connor dozed on the way and I assumed he’d be ready for a nap when we got there. So, when we arrived, I took him straight to his crib. After about ten minutes he woke up with a “Daddy?!?” as if to say “Why have you put me here?”. It wasn’t five minutes later that someone was covered in sunblock and out for a swim. He loves being in the pool. Granny and Papa did quite a bit of entertaining with the water hose, pool toys and even some bubbles. He was quite the happy kid. I foresee much time being spent in the water this Summer.

While he was in the pool, Kelli and I got ready for Cristin’s Pirate Party. She’s written up a good summary (so I won’t bother), but it was a lot of fun for us. I still need to sort through some of the loot I swapped for, but it was exciting enough just to hang out with good people. And that electrical storm she mentions? Holy cow. Matt and I stood outside listening to thunder that just would not stop. It was constant. No break in the rumbling for several straight minutes. Not to mention the lightning strike right behind their house. It was rough times on the digital high seas, I tell you.

We spent Sunday at newhope church as has now become our custom when we’re visiting the area. Dr. Kelley’s (do you newhopers get confused when I call him that?) message was pretty intense. It felt like a special service, to me. The intensity wasn’t draining, though. Quite the opposite. After church, the Pirate Party crew (Cristin, Matt, Jamie, Sabrina, Kelli and me; sans Steve who was tending to a sick AJ) headed for Jason’s Deli where Kelli got a baked potato as big as my head. All in all, it was good conversation and good food with good people. I loved this weekend. Thanks to all of you who were a part of it.